Many children go through the stage of wanting to be alone with mom. In fact, it happens to so many that we see the situation as a normal stage. What happens when the child wants to be alone with dad?
Angel spends most of the day with Mom, but as soon as Dad appears in her sights, she becomes the worst of the worst. What am I doing wrong? Maria thinks, have I stopped working to take care of the child, I spend all day behind him and on top of that he treats me like that?
The boy does not understand how lucky he is that his mother is at home with him, neither does he know the situation in the labor market nor does he know anything about the dreams and aspirations of his parents. But what he does notice perfectly is when they are paying attention and love and when they are not. Parents who spend all day with their children should ask themselves how much time they spend “really”: talking to him, playing with him, hugging him, telling him how much they love him …
Educating is a mixture of affection and norms, and both things have to be divided between the two members of the couple. Children are not stupid and they know who to turn to for certain things. If there is a more permissive parent, it is easy for him to become the favorite. Dads have to make common cause, have very clear basic rules and follow them. At this stage, the preferred parent can become more dedicated to discipline and leave the prizes, games and pampering to the other.
On the other hand, if the child wants to be alone with his father and between them they have established such a close bond that they can “leave out” the mother, it is recommended that the father give space to his partner. Both must redefine family customs, looking for activities to share the three together in which each one occupies his place and assumes his role.
Jealousy can also cause the little one to try to exclude a parent. When a little brother is on the way, the fear of losing his parents’ love can turn into rejection of Mom and that huge tummy that threatens to take away her place.