What comes to mind when reading the title of this note? Don’t worry, here I am going to give you some reasons why it is good to tell your son or daughter about the first kiss of love and I will give you some suggestions to do so.
The first and most powerful reason is that human beings are gregarious, which means that in our nature it is to live with other beings of our species and therefore experience the affections that such coexistence arouses.
But curiously, in our current society, there seems to be a kind of widespread fear of recognizing our affections, as if that makes us terribly vulnerable. We teach our children to be strong, competitive, disciplined, creative, bold, etc. We try to instill in them ethical values and notions of how to take care of yourself and even take care of others.
But we teach them little or almost nothing about the complex world of affections and when they reach adulthood, many times they are not even able to recognize fear, anguish or grief. And that is often the basis of the suffering of patients in psychotherapeutic treatment.
Talking to your son or daughter about the tenderness, emotion, butterflies in the stomach or the fullness that can be felt next to that special person favors:
- Fluid and assertive communication. It teaches you that important experiences can be shared, And the best: it can share them with you.
- His sense of security, because if he sees that you pay attention to what he says, for example, his idea of how love is shown to another person, it will make him feel that you listen to him and that he is important to you.
- Awareness to share with you very personal experiences that are important to you, not only romantic but of any kind. I assure you that in the future you will appreciate it.
- Later, it will favor open dialogue about sexuality and affections; Well, even though she will gain information at school and with friends, talking to you about this complex aspect of life could help her deal with breakdowns, disappointments and making important decisions.
You will wonder, at what moment? From when?
There is no rule, but it is true that everyday life often presents children with innumerable scenes that we should help them “digest”. A couple on the street or a romantic scene on the screen frequently generates giggles and mischievous glances among children. That may be a good time to open the topic.
You can tell him about your experience, but not necessarily; You can also tell him about how in your childhood, you imagined that it would be your first kiss, for example. The important thing is to give way to the affections that come with it, to talk about how a kiss can be an expression of love, of the pleasure of sharing everything possible with that special person, of the wish that this person is well.
And so, without hardly feeling it, you will be talking with your son or daughter about love as a couple, one of the essential themes in the life of the human being.