One of the many consequences of the coronavirus pandemic that is manifesting itself strongly now is what the specialists baptized as parental exhaustion, or “burnout”his name in English.
It is a growing syndrome, originating from the chronic stress of those who have children, characterized by four main symptoms: physical or emotional exhaustion, or both; feeling of not complying with what is said to be “good fathers” or “good mothers”; feeling overwhelmed with the parental role, and thinking that you are emotionally disconnected from your children.
The term “burnout” has been recovered and redefined during the covid-19 pandemic, due to the enormous demand that the global health emergency represented for those who had children in charge.
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A study of Parenting Research Center, an Australian-based body, showed that two out of five respondents feel that fatigue affects their ability to be the kind of parents they want to be. And close to half of the people surveyed think that there is not enough time in the day to do everything that is expected or they think they should do.
The psychologist Nestor Gonzalezacademic of the University of Dawn and mental health expert, explains that “Parental burnout is a silent, underestimated and growing crisis, increasingly present in our society. The chronic stress and emotional fatigue experienced by many parents is causing a disconnect with their children and with themselves.
AND Daniela Munoz Iubinipsychologist and academic at the Faculty of Education of the San Sebastian Universityadds that “Expectations and social pressure regarding what should be an adequate or correct way of raising parents put constant pressure on parents and a feeling of not meeting social standards, which increases constant feelings of guilt and frustration, which translates into the so-called parental “burnout”.
According to Nestor Gonzalez, “According to what various authors who have studied this problem have stated, burnout not only responds to a specific problem of the individual, but has also become a topic present in society. That is why it is imperative to promote strategies to alleviate this stress, since a state of relaxation and happiness undoubtedly allows one to be more receptive and maintain the ability to show oneself present in front of the children. For this reason, the well-being of families depends on the attention paid to this emerging issue.
And in the same sense, Daniela Munoz Iubini indicates that “It is very relevant that fathers and mothers understand that in order to protect children and take care of their own development and that of boys and girls, it is necessary to focus on the emotional state of those who raise them and on their ability to empathize, connect and regulate their own emotions and those of their children. If they want to respond to the needs of their children, they must prioritize their own health, which implies, for example, taking time to go out with friends or play sports. Resting should be considered a basic obligation of those who raise, because in order to accompany and educate another, I must first have my own basic needs resolved. That is one of the great debts of those who present parental burnout”.
SOME RECOMMENDATIONS
Psychologist Daniela Muñoz Iubinifrom the USS, provides some advice that may well serve those who feel overwhelmed by the task of raising children, tips that can help achieve instances of self-care:
1.- Identify the moments in which you tend to feel overwhelmed.
2.- Identify the reasons why you feel overwhelmed at those moments.
3.- Anticipate those stressful times, incorporating small actions into the staff that help to arrive calmer at those times of stress.
4.- Incorporate into the weekly routine at least two moments – thirty minutes or one hour – destined to do a pleasant activity, such as eating in silence, listening to music, exercising or talking with someone.
5.- Identify the support networks available and use them, although this is sometimes complex.
6.- Learn to identify possible tasks to delegate, and do it.
7.- Give value to self-care actions, beyond the fact that it is thought that they may involve a lot of time or money.
8.- Give yourself time to develop small healthy habits, such as drinking water, remembering to stop and breathe, or even eating while sitting down.