Psychologist Walter Rizo says that a good separation is better than a bad marriage. Although to reach such a conclusion it takes a very strong individual work so that you can overcome your relationship and start the next healthy stage; Free of rancor, aware of your decision and convinced that it is the best for both of you and your child.
A GOOD SEPARATION IS BETTER THAN A BAD MARRIAGE
In this work of reflection, there are some factors involved that we invite you to analyze to recognize where each one failed, to understand yourself, to forgive yourself and your ex; also to assess what you need for this transition.
1. The history of each one marks a strong and unconscious influence on their separation; it houses silent motivations that led them to act and feel in a certain way: one or both come from divorced parents, from children they felt abandoned, they lived through infidelity, jealousy, toxic relationships…
2. His personality traits function as a virtue, also as an obstacle. Perhaps now they realize that their intolerance or anger has led them to crisis on several occasions.
3. The reasons for the conflicts. No one is totally to blame, it was not a one-man relationship; They need to find as much objectivity as possible so as not to blame themselves or the other.
4. Your history as a couple. Just as they lived through chaotic times, they had several happy ones; Both now weigh on their emotionality, but recognizing them allows them to appreciate the effort they both made to make the couple and their projects materialize and work.
5. External factors. It is not the same when you have family support than if you are not, nor if you are in a stable job that long ago stopped working. Some situations will make you feel strong, others quite vulnerable and fearful. The advice is to identify them to give them a solution.
Doing these five reflections will help you to clarify where you failed but also where your ex-partner failed and assign him his responsibility without feeling bad about the story. In addition, knowing your mistakes will allow you to correct it, grow and perhaps, if you wish, later on form a new relationship, or failing that, enrich your wisdom to guide your child towards his emotional well-being. We are with you.