Serious couple fights can be generated when each of the parties tries to obtain the greatest personal gain and when there are no clear rules to solve the problems.
It happens that every time there is a dispute, the powers of the couple come into play and a whole series of errors appear in the attitude that each one takes and that prevent resolution and a positive ending for both of them and the family.
WHAT ARE THESE ERRORS?
We share them so that you can be vigilant when they appear, stop and say to yourself: «wait, this is not right, this can damage the relationship; it is better to calm down and change the way I am facing the discussion ».
- Wait for the couple to guess what I want and need; to get ahead of my wishes before formulating them; to give up your personal life and place myself at the center of your existence.
- To blame the other for my frustrations; for example, of the changes I have had to make in my life.
- Competing for who is more or less, better or worse, who owes more or less to the other; who is this, that or the other; who is the one who puts the most to keep the relationship alive.
- Being unfaithful to the common project, but not understood exclusively as the sentimental or sexual relationships with another person, but in its entirety. In order not to harm our life as a couple, we must remain loyal to the commitment acquired: work day by day to rekindle that common project, try to make that initial illusion, that love, grow, or at least continue and life is gratifying for both of us.
- Accumulate, without bringing them to light and without commenting on them in a relaxed way, slights, disagreements, anger, reproaches, disrespect and disappointments.
- Doubting the other person. Fissures due to lack of confidence are the beginning of the couple’s breakdown. It is difficult, and very hard, to love someone who is doubted.
- Give up formulating our complaints and needs in a clear, concise and direct way.
- We must put aside irony, sarcasm, destructive criticism, shouting, insult, ridicule, disqualification or disdain when addressing the other person.
- Blaming the couple for everything that has not gone as expected.
- Relegation of sexual relations.