In the desire to give their best to the children, some parents buy them toys, clothes, accessories, footwear and even very expensive brand name mobile devices. The question is whether or not such action adds to the well-being that every mom and dad seek for their child.
Psychology experts argue that “getting kids” used to overly sophisticated or expensive objects is a double-edged sword, as while they somehow get the message that “they deserve the best,” on the other, given that they are not giving it to themselves, but are obtaining it through their “provider parents,” the lesson of effort is limited.
In her psychology portal, Laura Esteban explains that «impulse control, waiting, perseverance, creativity, effort, motivation develop together with the acceptance of what cannot be, what cannot be had . Hoping to have or be what you cannot, prevents us from doing what is in our hands to create, promote or achieve to get closer to how we would like to be.
In this sense, teaching children to aspire to have “the best” through their own efforts helps them acquire resources to generate well-being in themselves, in life. For this reason, we share some reasons why it is not advisable to always give them the most expensive, if not teach them to “work to obtain it.”
REASONS FOR NOT GIVING YOU THE MOST EXPENSIVE
- In the short and long term it ends up causing apathy, reluctance and lack of motivation to achieve achievements with their own effort.
- It creates an inability to tolerate frustration.
- They can become adults used to having others fix obstacles or provide them.
- They do not value the effort of others or the care they may have with them.
- They learn that giving expensive objects is the way to show love and that people are worth the objects they give.
- They learn to value themselves from what they can provide and since, at the same time, they assimilated that they “are there to receive”, such inconsistency leads them to maintain an internal conflict of conflicting beliefs that lower their self-esteem.