What we say in public
This part of the mission to promote body neutrality requires re-educating the daily social discourse that we face, and making visible the unconscious body-shaming that we constantly do and do to ourselves. Let’s analyze these dialogues:
The dismayed relatives
There is never a shortage of those close and well-meaning people who want to make sure that your appearance is not inconvenient so that you do well in life. However, that goes against any effort at neutrality. To a comment like: “What if you go to crossfit class? It’s great for losing weight.” He replies: “Thank you, but I am happy with my body as it is.”
The “joke” comments
Sometimes people tease us jokingly, with comments that hit us, even if no one knows. And in those cases, it is okay to be firm and clear: To a: “You are very short,” answer: “Look, I know you are not saying it in a bad mood, but I am trying to stay away from body negativity these days.”
The fake compliments
Many people believe that it is valid to talk about the desirable body aspects of another person, and sometimes it is done with a certain envy in disguise. Thus, someone may say to you: “You don’t have any fat, eat something.” in those cases, just say, “Sorry, what did you say?” and stay very, very serious. Forcing people to repeat your offensive comments tends to make them reconsider.
Ignorant professionals
It happens all the time: salespeople, sales reps, stylists, trainers, a whole army of people giving us advice and opinions about our bodies waiting for us to buy things from them. “My one million burpee-a-day program would be perfect for shedding those pounds.” He replies: “Thank you, but I have no interest in shedding my kilos.”
In my humble opinion…
There is never a lack, especially in social networks, of the passive-aggressive person, or simply aggressive, who feels that he has the right to tell you what he thinks is wrong with you: “It is not because of bad vibes but that jacket does not go well with your body”. Don’t say anything here. Ignore, delete and block if necessary.
Bullying with love
Usually this is not malicious, but there are people who feel that talking nice about your “flaws” will make you feel better. So, they say things like: “You look adorable like this, with your teeth apart.” We know the intention is good, but it doesn’t hurt to make a point in favor of neutrality: “I’m going to let it go this time, but for future reference, I’m not a fan of body-shaming.”
And since you learned what to answer in those situations, it is important that you also detect when it is you who is encouraging unnecessary attention to the body.