We would like to vaccinate them and not worry knowing that our children will always make good choices. But … that stays in the world of dreams and the reality is that children constantly face situations that, in proportion to their age, present them with ethical dilemmas. Therefore, it is necessary to teach him to recognize and confront bad influences.
From a very young age, children begin to learn that they may or may not satisfy their wishes and that doing so can sometimes have negative consequences, such as the scolding of mom and / or dad, which can even be felt as the possible loss of his love.
This means that good behavior is built on the fear of losing parental affection and extends to the affection of those who care for the child. It should be clarified that we are talking about the experience of the young child when a corrective is applied to discipline him. Physical and verbal aggression are ruled out; a child is not insulted or hit.
But you cannot expect fear to be the basis of your child’s ethical sense forever, because the day will come when he feels (and really is) stronger than you. Also, think of an adult who makes his decisions mainly out of the need to feel loved and accepted.
It would make him terribly manipulable! Although we all know people who move like this through life, surely you would prefer that your child was able to say NO when the situation warrants it. What to do then?
PROMOTE THE ELEMENTS THAT BUILD THE ETHICAL SENSE
Empathy, which is often described as the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If a child is able to intuitively understand what a schoolmate might feel like when they are bullied, whether they are their friend or not, then there is a greater chance that they will refuse to be an “accessory” to bullying. To do this, tell your child how you feel when you see someone else suffer or suffer; ask him how he feels when he sees an injured animal, for example.
The ability to analyze a situation. What if in simple words you explain to your child why you don’t take items from the supermarket and take them away without paying? Not just because stealing is bad. When we steal something, even when playing, we cause harm to another person, an institution, the country, etc.
The judgment of reality, which is understood as the ability to anticipate the consequences of one’s actions and is derived from the ability to analyze. This means teaching children to evaluate their actions according to the objective they intend to achieve and the natural consequences they generate. It seems complicated, but you can show it with pears and apples.
For example, many of us would like to eat a liter of chocolate ice cream, but in addition to feeling very happy after doing it, we will also feel with a stomach ache, maybe a throat, we will spend a long time in the bathroom and we will even forget what happy giving way to widespread discomfort.
Sometimes, it is necessary to talk with your child about the “taste” that he may feel when defying the rules, which in a small way is normal, but if it intensifies it may be an indicator of a problem that is better to attend to professionally with the support of a psycologist.
No norm or law is arbitrarily valid. It is important to explain its meaning,
why yes or why not; This will help our children to form an ethical criterion and with this, they may not achieve immunity, but it will help them maintain a
certain reflective capacity and independence in their decision making.
Even if those decisions consist of returning the rubber they borrowed or refusing
to make fun of the group’s new companion.