There are times when a couple can no longer be together. Here we mention a series of recommendations to cope with your divorce in the best way with your children.
If you are separating and you have wondered what is the best way to help your family go through your divorce, it is important that you take into account that each family situation is different. But the following suggestions will help you make this process less painful for your family and children.
It is extremely important that you help children manage their feelings. Encourage them to share with you what they think and feel about your separation, be it positive or negative opinions.
Sit with your children and talk openly. But yes, be sure to let them know that their thinking and feelings are important, valid and normal.
While these conversations are taking place, try not to try to solve problems or change what your children feel. However, focus on listening and thanking your children for opening up to you and being honest with what they feel and think.
Usually, children almost always take the separation from the family in a bad way and they may blame you or your ex-partner for what is happening. Therefore, you should be prepared to answer sensitive questions that your children may want quick answers to or address their concerns.
If possible, sit down with the other parent to plan together how they are going to talk about what is happening.
If you think that you will be very distressed and that you are not prepared or prepared to handle the situation, ask another adult to talk to your children. It is okay and healthy for children to see their parents feel sad or distressed, but if their emotions are very intense they may feel guilty about what the parents are going through.
Be clear with what you feel and say it head-on, if you are sad, tell your son “I am sad.” Make it clear that it is normal to feel this way sometimes. Talk about how you will deal with sadness and teach them that it is possible to deal with a situation as such.
On many occasions the children feel guilty and imagine that they caused the separation from their parents. This happens many times when children hear that their parents fought for them. Children and especially teenagers may feel angry, worried, or scared about their future. Let them know what a normal feeling is and reassure them if they express these emotions. Remind them that it is a normal feeling.
Children can suffer the ravages of a divorce for a long time, the impact can last from 2 to 3 years. It is normal for them to be sad or depressed. For school-age children, it is normal for their grades to drop or they lose interest in their activities: this is called the sleeping effect.
You must be aware of this effect. If you notice it, it is important that you communicate openly with the children to teach them how to cope with the feelings in a healthy way. future.
Remember that honesty, sensitivity, self-control, and time will help the healing process.