The Holidays are approaching and many of us begin to feel that inevitable christmas stress that paradoxically we suffer during the season, which is supposedly the happiest of the year. And it is that we have grown up with the idea that in December being happy is mandatory.
The concept of Christmas and what it represents -lights in the houses, many types of cookies, multiple social gatherings, family gatherings, hope, rich and abundant food- excites us. But since nothing is free, in the end we end up liking theory more than practice.
That horrible Christmas stress
Part of Christmas, sadly, has become commercial. Now, a lot revolves around what we want and are going to receive in material gifts, as well as the obligation to comply with those who expect to receive from us. The lists for Santa are kilometer-long –what the children don’t ask for is added by the parents- and the exchanges of gifts are more and more exaggerated –the one from each classroom, the one for sports, the one with friends, the family-. We do not set limits and we are afraid that a small detail will be frowned upon. Writing just a thank you or affection note is unthinkable, so we borrowed to give away.
Curiously, the “best” time of the year is the one that generates the most madness and stress. Why? For pleasure or fear of not belonging. Passing it “like a whistle chicharito” is entirely optional, but we almost always decide to complicate our existence. By the way we make life more difficult for others since our material generosity generates obligations for those who receive it for the following Christmas.
Silent Night?
It works more or less like this. We make a list of people with whom we “have” to look good. Then we think about what to give to whom and locate where to get it. Endless trips to the stores follow. Since we bought the things we have to wrap them. A whole logistics that involves super special paper –which is only sold in a certain place and costs a fortune-, ribbon or bow that must be rigorously combined. We’re not done yet. The laps are missing to send to make and collect the cards with the family name and Christmas design that go in the gift. Have you already made the account of how much time, traffic, money, gasoline and Christmas stress we have taken up to this moment?
And we still haven’t talked about the pine tree, the festivals, the posadas – which require a trip to the salon to comb your hair and a visit to the supermarket for the ingredients of the salad you offered to take -, Santa, the cookies, Christmas dinner or lunch, the postcards with the Christmas photo –previous appointment with a professional photographer- that go by mail. oh! by the way, all this in addition to your daily obligations. Did I manage to stress you out more than you already were just by thinking about everything that is coming your way?
But don’t be discouraged… We can avoid a lot of stress here
Start by anticipating Christmas Day and visualize the moment you deliver the gift. All the wrapping effort is destroyed in the few seconds it takes the person to open the gift. If you were lucky, he noticed the care and made a comment before throwing everything into the garbage bag, which undoubtedly already has that aunt who always says “throw me the papers at once so it doesn’t become a mess”. A good chunk of your time, energy, and money literally ends up in the landfill. Unless the aunt is also one of those who rescue the paper and ribbons for next year.
One of the most incredible things we have is the ability and freedom –believe it or not- to choose. You can deliberately make the decision to simplify and give Christmas back its true meaning. At first, save yourself everything that has to do with wrappers. Use newspaper or brown paper for the gifts and have your children decorate them with crayons. In those drawings I assure you that others will notice. If you feel sorry or the idea makes you uncomfortable, announce that you are being generous to the planet. Being green, besides being the right thing to do, is fashionable.
It is worth being selective
Be more selective with the invitations you accept to social events on these dates. Reduce the number of engagement gifts you “have” to give. You can have a detail with people who really need it. In your family surely no one needs one more gift – they will receive too much. Better focus on one or two people who will not have the same fortune as your friends or family.
Defer some gifts and details for February or March. You can show love and affection in other months of the year as this should not be exclusive to the Christmas season. You will have more time, the shops and streets will be less crowded, and the effect on happiness will be greater because it is a surprise. Instead of saying “happy no birthday” you can say “merry no christmas”.
Talk to your family, make agreements to be simpler, put on the table the fact that many feel the same Christmas stress as looking for that gift that you feel you should give. In my family we already did it. We love each other more than ever.
Christine Carter has an excellent three-step plan for enjoying this season: prioritize your social connections, schedule and block time in advance to do what you really want to do these days, and practice gratitude. Here is the link to her article.
Have a really happy Christmas with less stress, simplify, dare to say NO to self-imposed obligations and pay attention to what is truly important. Do it in favor of your peace of mind and that of your loved ones.
Merry Christmas without stress.