Few children are free of any scratches or bites during their first years of life, especially when they are not yet able to communicate with words.
Who has not surprised his little angel using his teeth and nails with a playmate who intends to take away his favorite car … If your little one hits, scratches or bites, don’t be alarmed. If you conduct “these attacks” well, it will be a fleeting thing that will disappear after 3 or 4 years. We tell you why children usually react in this way between the first and second year of age how you should act in those cases.
WHY DOES HE DO THIS?
When children feel threatened, they defend themselves as they can and know: first they use their mouths; when they handle their hands better, they scratch; when they gain stability, they push; and when they get stronger, they kick and hit. But there are more reasons that can explain this reaction:
- Eagerness to explore. Biting is related to the oral phase, which usually ends at approximately three years old. But at this age they suck or bite everything.
- A simple dental discomfort. The teeth begin to emerge after two years, so their gums are swollen and their mouth hurts. If it has also coincided with the fact that you removed the pacifier, the thing is complicated because it is more irritable and sensitive.
- A sign of affection. They are not yet able to gauge their emotions; therefore, what initially begins as a show of affection may end with a bite. Right at this moment you must tell him that love is shown by kissing or hugging, not hurting.
WHAT TO DO?
Combine firmness and affection. If you notice that your child scratches or pushes another child, the first thing you should do is approach the attacked little one and make sure that he is okay. Then explain to your son, without raising his voice, that he has acted wrongly, that he has hurt his little friend. It is enough to make him sit in a secluded place and tell him: “Stay here and watch. You can’t play anymore because to play you have to know how to be calm ”.
Avoid putting labels. Your child can believe them and end up acting according to them. He prefers to take great care of the language and use the correct words, because what you tell him in childhood will accompany him for the rest of his life; what a father or mother says is the absolute truth of a son. The best thing for this case is that you say to him: “You are not bad, but if you scratch or hit your little friend, you hurt him and that is not done.” Much more is achieved by talking to children, taking pressure off these negative behaviors and promoting positive or correct ones, than punishing them, yelling at them, hitting them or saying hurtful things.
WHAT IF MY CHILD IS BEATEN? DO I TELL YOU TO DEFEND AND RETURN THE BITE?
In order for your child to defend himself against aggression without using force, he must be taught to act firmly. If you notice that he has been bitten or scratched, the first thing you have to do is approach him and treat his wound with a good dose of pampering. When he is calmer you can encourage him to say to the other little one: “Don’t hit me, you hurt me.” Since he is not yet able to use so much vocabulary, a NO will suffice. He will understand you: at this age his understanding level is higher than his expressive level.