They tend to pressure you, criticize you, demand you, limit you … Without a doubt, when in-laws meddle in how you educate your child, it creates a somewhat complex family relationship. What can you do, how can you create and maintain a good family relationship with them (and your partner)?
It is best to speak. It is the advice that everyone gives, however, it is normal that we feel sorry, it happens that we do not want problems or hurt susceptibilities. Do not be so distressed, the truth is that the result depends a lot on how you ask for things and that before speaking, you listen and empathize with your in-laws.
For example, it often happens that when grandparents, for example, tell you: “Do not scold him, let him go play, it is not okay for you to feed him that…”, they are not aware that parenting corresponds to you ( and your partner) and that they are invalidating your authority, in fact, perhaps they think they are doing their grandson good.
Meanwhile, under this same example, parents may not understand that when grandparents take care of their child, they must also be an authority figure in front of them.
In case they do not take care of your son and still tend to meddle in how you educate him, the most recommended thing is that you talk to your partner so that he is the one who delimits the limits for his parents, finally, remember that he knows them better that you and will know how to approach them without causing conflicts or misunderstandings.
YOUR TASK: agree. Sit down to talk with your in-laws, together with your partner, and between all of them define the guidelines of the discipline (they can make a task plan,
permits and limits to follow); the most important thing is to establish what it is up to mom, dad and grandparents to achieve these guidelines (and also write it down).
Consulting: Mtra. Lorena Mendoza Sosa, Child and Youth Therapist at NeuroIngenia.