The is coming Valentine’s Daythe patron saint of lovers, and, in addition to demonstrations of affection in a special way, it is a good time to stop and think about relationships. Because what about couples who work together? How to drive if you special person Is he also your partner or business partner, or colleague? How do you keep the love fresh and the spark alive while combining business with personal life?
It is known that popular wisdom usually advises “do not do business or work with family, partners or friends.” The reality indicates that there are millions of couples’ ventures that carry out their businesses successfully, and know how to masterfully combine personal and professional life.
Also, there are many relationships that take place between colleagues who work together. Until a decade ago it was not well seen to have a partner at work; there are even codes of work ethics that prohibit it. The good news is that these rules are currently being relaxed at certain companies.
Another frequent example that we all know is that of small and medium-sized companies, which are generally family-based. Both members of the relationship usually work there, with different and complementary roles. One thing I’ve observed in my performance as an executive coach is that many times, one of the two exerts a “compensating effect” on the other person, to help, contain and accompany them as much as possible. Now that’s teamwork!
As we can see, there is no single format on this topic, since each situation is different, just as each couple is different.
As human beings it is not possible to avoid falling in love; and executive coaching, carried out professionally, is ideal for accompanying partners or colleagues in dealing better with the double role of partner and business, even if you are the leader of the love of your life. He too “life coaching” (life coaching) can help balance and open possibilities if difficulties arise in relationships. Within this area there is the specialty of coaching couples and affective relationships.
5 coaching tips based on real cases, for couples who work together or are partners
Based on my experience, here are five tips inspired by learnings from couples working together in coaching sessions. It has worked for these people: how about you give it a try?
1. Set clear boundaries between work and personal relationships
It is essential to separate these two areas of your life so that you can fully enjoy both. Make sure you have time to make the two spaces compatible, and not mix them, as this can cause unnecessary stress and tension.
Some pillars so that they can grow together are: good management of the agenda, putting together a simple protocol of agreements at work and personally, avoiding taking work issues home, agreeing on new terms whenever necessary, and expressing availability and encouragement for mutual growth.
2. Maintain open, honest and constructive communication
One of the keys to successful couples working together is that they don’t hesitate to talk about their feelings and needs, and it’s this openness that keeps them going.
The suggestion is to do it in real time, not postpone important conversations and, at the same time, reveal what is relevant to one and the other person. This will make it possible to reconcile both perspectives as best as possible.
3. Recognize and appreciate differences
Valentine’s Day can be a good occasion so that, in addition to strengthening the bond, they can talk in depth about strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.
One way to implement it is for them to do it on personal terms, and then, if appropriate, from the employment relationship they share. The goal is to learn to respect and value your partner’s individual strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses.
When we know the person we choose in its entire dimension, even those areas that are improving, the bond becomes more solid and consistent. There appears affective resilience, which is the ability to overcome challenges as a couple, from which one usually comes out stronger and with a lot of mutual learning.
4. Agree on central issues: children, money, roles, and personal and professional expectations
A point that often generates doubts is how to approach basic issues assertively when work, business and love are mixed.
In this case, here is a practical exercise that you can do: in a calm and serene space, choose the 5 central areas on which you want to work. Once defined, prioritize them from 1 to 5, where 1 is the most relevant. On each point make specific agreements in each of them, containing no more than 3 points each.
Let’s give an example about the money they produce as a couple. The scope can be: “Managing money in the relationship.” And the three points could be: a) Each one will maintain a salary commensurate with her responsibility in the business; b) There will be a common egalitarian well to which they will contribute each month, as family savings for unforeseen events; each one, in turn, will keep the personal savings prior to the constitution of the couple bond; c) All financial decisions will be consensual, and there will be a complete economic-financial review every three months.
5. The fundamental question: Why are we still together?
Many couples that I have accompanied always wonder why they are still together; we can reformulate it into a deeper and more transcendent “why”.
Celebrate achievements, be proud of each other’s personal and professional development, own up to mistakes, be vulnerable (which is not the same as being weak), ask the other person for special support, spend quality time with each other, and respect personal space with freedom, they are part of the manifestations of the love of a couple that they can apply in life, and bring the same dynamic to work.
Daniel Colombo Facilitator and Executive Master Coach specialized in senior management, professionals and teams; mentor and professional communicator; international speaker; author of 31 books. LinkedIn Top Voice Latin America. ICF certified; Certified Coach and Member of the John Maxwell Team.