4 minutes
When manipulation and emotional abuse are perpetuated over time, autogaslighting can appear relatively easily. We show you what it consists of and how it affects us.
The autogaslighting It is a relatively new concept, however, it is a behavior that has been between us since human beings communicated. To fully understand what it means, we must first notice that it is a term formed by the word gas lighting and the prefix carwhich by definition means “own” or “by oneself”.
The gas lighting is a form of emotional abuse which uses manipulation and minimization to make a person doubt their perception of reality. Therefore, the autogaslighting It means adopting the position of someone who manipulates us and doing it to ourselves. Let’s see how that is possible.
What is gaslighting?
The vast majority of us have been manipulated and have manipulated someone at some point. In order to make a profit, the human being manages with different strategies to achieve his goals. Young children, adults and the elderly do it.
However the gas lighting it is a much more complex and perverse process. It is a very harmful pattern of emotional abuse in which the victim is manipulated. Thus, the person who exercises it makes the other believe that her judgment is wrong, that his memory fails or that her perception is altered.
This produces a series of consequences in people, especially when the gas lighting is perpetuated in time. It is usual to feel confused, anxious and even enter a depressive state.
From gaslighting to autogaslighting
One of the consequences of being victims of gas lighting is that we accept all that manipulation as valid and begin to be the ones who make ourselves autogaslighting. It is there that the voice of the abuser takes hold of us and we go on to perpetuate the manipulation in our thoughts.
when we suffer autogaslighting the following circumstances and situations appear:
- We doubt our judgment and question our sanity.
- We assume the guilt of what happens as if it were our responsibility.
- We distance ourselves from our true selves and we adopt a role of pure survival.
- We minimize the psychological damage that they are inflicting on us and we think that it is not such a big deal.
- We underestimate our sufferingso we don’t feel like we need help.
- We lose self-confidence to the point of believing the person who manipulates us more than ourselves.
As it is easy to deduce, this entails a series of important psychological consequences and consequences. Treatable, of course, but not always in an easy way.
How can autogaslighting affect our mental health?
Internalizing abuse can lead to significant sequelae on the human psyche. The autogaslighting is potentially more serious than gas lightingGiven the violence is exerted twice: by the abuser and by ourselves.
This implies a longer process of remission of the symptoms that we manifest, since it is not easy to question the biased thoughts that have permeated so much. Thus, it is easy for our self-confidence to remain at minimal levels, we feel guilty and pretend to believe that nothing serious is happening to us.
Let us remember that on many occasions the manipulation lasts for a long period of time. This further aggravates the symptoms that are suffered.
How can we avoid it?
It is not always easy to avoid autogaslighting. However, it will depend largely on how our mental structure is before the manipulation of others.
If we are people with a good level of emotional maturity, with self-confidence and a good internal dialogue, it is easier for us to detect that someone is manipulating and questioning us. Even if it is also true that this is no guarantee, since there are people who are capable of manipulating anyone; they just need time.
However, developing our self-knowledge and our emotional intelligence will always be the best option. Since we will question ourselves less and give less credibility to the lies that the other person intends to exercise.
Final thoughts on autogaslighting
It is important to be aware that we can all be victims of manipulation. No one, no matter how emotionally worked up, is free to escape emotional abuse.
That abuse can go so deep that it makes us complicit in the manipulator at a deep level. We will even be harder on ourselves than the abuser himself.
To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to work within ourselves and take care of the internal dialogue. It may not be useful for all the occasions when someone tries to manipulate us, but it is a very good prevention.
In case you detect that you are suffering autogaslighting and you don’t know how to proceed, consultation with a mental health specialist to obtain a good orientation and assessment of your case.
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