Attachment is an emotional bond that is established from early childhood between mother and child and is of vital importance for the subsequent development of a healthy personality.
When experts talk about attachment, they mean the strong bond of bond that develops between a mother and her baby. It is that feeling of wanting to fill your little one with love and attention, or that you would be capable of anything to protect him. For some parents, this happens in the first days, or even minutes, after birth, however, with the passing of the days, you should consider a strategy to create a healthy attachment that contributes to the good emotional development of your little one, to achieve this you We make the following recommendations.
1. Understand the signals that your baby emits and his way of communicating.
Although it is true that each little one has its own way of expressing itself, there are signs that are universal. For example, when the little one turns his head towards the mother’s breast or sucks his hands, it indicates that it is time to eat, give him a bottle or comfort him. When you arch your back it means that you feel uncomfortable or irritated by an excess of external stimuli. If you frown, it could indicate that there is a lot of light. Crying, however, is a sign that can suggest many different things, so you should try to stay calm, in order to discover the cause of his tears and be able to help him.
2. Create a foundation of security and trust
As you learn to identify and respond to your baby’s signals, he will begin to feel secure in his environment and that his needs will be met. This is essential to creating a healthy attachment, although you must also teach him that there may be changes so that he begins to develop his own capacity for adaptation and self-comfort. These two capacities to adapt and comfort or conform begin to develop when your little one is still in the womb, but they become more evident during the first month of life. Both are important to form the foundation of security and confidence that a baby needs.
3. Respond to your needs
Every time you interact with your little one, you have a new opportunity to foster attachment. Although no mommy manages to create that bond at all times, the goal is to establish a consistent pattern. The parents who validate the emotional needs of their little ones communicate a very important message to them: «Your feelings do count, we will take good care of you and you will have a reliable and secure base to start exploring the world». To achieve this, it is necessary to verbally acknowledge the discomfort, stimulation or what the child may be feeling. Remember that your treasure is able to perceive your intentions even if it does not understand your words.
4. Pet him, hug him, laugh and play
Some dads think that if they hold their babies too much or constantly hold them in their arms they will spoil them. However, since a baby’s brain and body are still immature, a newborn does not have the capacity to be independent and needs your caresses and support. In recent years, it has been shown that children who receive positive, warm and constant attention, and care appropriate to their stage of development, have great advantages in terms of their physical, mental, social and emotional health.
5. Take care of your own physical and emotional well-being
With so much effort to understand your baby and respond to their needs, it is easy for you to forget yours, but they are just as important! After giving birth, you may feel as if a strong hurricane has passed through your body and it is essential that you take care of yourself, eating well, exercising and resting as much as you can. It is common for parents with the first baby to feel overwhelmed by stress, fatigue, and irritability, and to feel alienated from their partner and the rest of the world. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders can have a strong impact on the ability to create a healthy attachment with your baby.