Assertive communication is a skill that anyone can develop and that serves to reduce conflicts, express our opinions and emotions with respect and trust, without manipulating or being manipulated, being honest with ourselves and with others. Many people do the opposite and communicate aggressively or defensively.
Assertiveness is just the opposite and allows us to express ourselves with respect, without letting ourselves be carried away by the quick and the emotions, but in a reflexive way that leads us to respect in order to be respected. Actually, it is to show our firm maturity and empathy. If you want to practice assertive communicationthen we are going to show you some techniques.
1.- Learn to say a reasoned no
The pillar of this type of communication is the ability to express our feelings and our needs with confidence, tact and respect. The first technique is to be honest. In some cases, that “no” can turn into a temporary no to leave the door open. An example can be “thanks for the invitation, I appreciate you thinking of me but I already have a commitmentI have work to do or you need to rest”.
2.- Show the effect of negative behavior as a form of assertive communication
This technique consists of showing your feelings and your need. A sentence could be “I know you don’t mean to, but when doing that makes me feel (be honest and sincere) I’d appreciate it if you didn’t.
3.- Shows an understanding and need
First you recognize something in the person or in the act, you let him know that you understand it and then you show your position, your need or your rights. Some example sentences could be:
“I understand what you do, but when you do that…(show consequence).”
“I understand your position, but from there… (show impact)”.
4.- Assertive response to aggressive behavior
Putting a mirror in front of the other person can be a good remedy. It means making him see how he is behaving and the consequences what’s wrong with it. Generally, people only engage in negative behavior because they are getting something out of it.
5.- To win a toxic person, it is best not to judge them but to use assertive communication
Before arguing with someone, ask yourself if that person is mature enough to consider points of view other than their own. Otherwise, there is no point in having that conversation.
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