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5 minutes
Stopping feeling like a victim starts with recognizing how you can make a difference in yourself and in your relationships.
«The universe is against me, bad things always happen to me», «I have to do all the things because otherwise nobody cares», «these things only happen to me», «nobody understands me», «I expected to receive help and it was not so”… one thing these phrases have in common; In addition to being based on a complaint, they are also characterized by a certain victimizing nuance. How to stop feeling like a victim?
Although in certain cases it is an attitude that goes unnoticed, the truth is that it is undesirable and can cause frustration both for yourself and for others. Therefore, it is important to recognize it and implement strategies to change it.
What is it like to feel like a victim?
Sometimes, the fact of feeling like a victim is motivated by the impossibility of seeing yourself in a proactive role, with power. Instead, you find yourself in a passive role, with little chance to intervene or change a situation.
It is also a way of not taking responsibility, as if things just happen and you are a simple spectator. certain times, comes from the fact of having been victims at some point, without the possibility of a defense or of implementing coping resources. That is, it stems from a sense of fragility and vulnerability.
Of course, we are not talking about serious cases that require a more complex analysis, but about everyday situations that involve complaints and discomfort. Still, the consequences continue to be felt. Little by little, it begins to be impacted esteem with these feelings of failure and low self-worth.
9 tips to stop feeling like a victim
The first step to stop feeling like a victim is recognize the behavior and, of course, those things that cause that dissatisfaction. To do this, it is worth implementing the following strategies.
1. Identify how you talk to yourself and how you describe situations
Knowing how you talk to yourself and how you describe what happens to you is crucial to identify if you are victimizing yourself. Are you holding others accountable? Is what you speak of exactly as you describe it? Is what happens to you that negative or are you exaggerating?
2. Take responsibility
To stop feeling like a victim You should ask yourself about the role or responsibility you have in certain events. Could you have done something different? If you question it, you will get the answer.
3. Think about change
Ask yourself for the change. What or who depends on the situation to change? Many times, you are a victim because you believe that the situation cannot change. So, make that helplessness aware, where it comes from and what sustains it.
4. Question your way of thinking
Many times you are not aware that you are putting yourself in a victim role. One of the ways to detect it has to do with the beliefs that support ideas such as «it’s fair, it’s unfair, it should, it would have, it did such a thing to me, if I don’t do it or don’t take care of it, X isn’t capable of doing it».
5. Analyze your links
In many cases, you may feel like a victim because you are in abusive relationships, where one party gives more than the other. In this sense, it is important to learn to set limits and say no. You have the right not to accept orders.
6. Address your wants and needs
Start by acknowledging what you would like and put yourself first. Recognizing yourself you can take care of your self-esteem.
7. Ask yourself what arises from the role of victim
Does victimizing yourself have any secondary benefits? It may be that by adopting this attitude you get something that pleases you or that counterbalances you to continue in that position. Whether it’s attracting attention, feeling that you can solve other people’s problems or having the feeling that you are essential in the lives of others.
8. Recognize “the good side of life”
Begin to put your thoughts on the “good side of life” into practice. It is important that you can appreciate all those positive situations that surround you and not only what you lack or that does not go well.
People who constantly complain about everything not only live emotionally exhausted, but also intoxicate those around them, since nothing is good or enough. You have to learn to value and thank for the good.
9. Learn to ask
Many times from victimhood, people expect others to be attentive to their every need and are unable to ask for help. Is it your case? You have to change that mentality and learn to express that desire to receive something from the other. If you dont do it, you can stay wrapped in resentment and frustration without the others even realizing it.
Complaining does not help us get out of discomfort
To stop feeling like a victim, it is important to accept that life is full of nuances. At times you may be hurt and you may receive a grievance, just as at other times you may be the one to hurt someone. In other words, being a victim and being a victimizer are roles in which you can alternately find yourself.
Finally, although it is true that the complaint can serve as catharsis at first, over time it becomes a double-edged sword; it leaves you stuck, locks you in what you consider an injustice and takes you away from the solution.
You even get trapped in the problem and in a double discomfort, not only because you did not get what you wanted, but also because of the way you value the situation. So letting off steam is fine, but you also need to ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you do, you can surely go looking for it.
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