Drone, hen, best friend or … the fairytale stepmother. Knowing what kind of mom you are is not only very good, it is vital. Because the way you educate your children is the foundation of their social and emotional development. Find out if you are a mom who allows them everything; conciliatory or tax; flexible, friendly, fun …
The emotional communication you establish with your little ones has a powerful impact on their development, says John Gottman, one of the 10 most influential therapists in recent decades and professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. In this sense, it is precisely the way you react and respond to your children’s emotions —as well as the support you provide and the control you exercise over them— that reveals your parenting style.
STEPMOTHER OF THE STORY if …
Without a doubt, you are clear with the rules, demanding, authoritarian and you expect your child to obey without protest.
“An authoritarian mom or dad offers little emotional support and a lot of control through threats or punishments … This parenting style in the long run has negative effects on children, by not promoting their autonomy,” says Dr. Patricia Andrade Palos, professor holder of the Faculty of Psychology at UNAM. Although obedient, eventually a son of authoritarian parents, he becomes irritable, apprehensive, insecure, and unable to manage his emotions and think for himself, life-long skills.
It’s up to you to learn …
Be more affectionate with your little one and let him know with words and gestures such as hugs, caresses and games, how much you love him, recommends Cristina García, an expert pedagogue in emotional education, at Edúkame. Try to take into account his emotional needs and initiate effective communication with him “exercising respectful listening, at least 10 minutes a day.”
Ask her how she feels, what she has done for the day, or what has upset her, says the expert. Very important: avoid disciplining him from your emotions, the ideal is “to apply logical and natural consequences instead of punishments”.
MAMA GALLINA yes …
You like to support your children, but also exercise control over them through rules, dialogue, negotiation and reasoning.
This type of parents protect their chicks a lot; they always know what they do, where they are and with whom; they do provide them with a guide and a structure, so that they know where to walk, without imposition, but with great concern. They are warm and listen to what their children have to say; therefore, children tend to respect authority, be friendly and cooperative.
It’s up to you to learn …
We know that being a mom is not easy, because it takes a lot of energy and self-control over your own emotions, so take a break from time to time. Your challenge is to know how to adapt the limits and your support according to the stage of development of your child.
DRON MOMMY yes …
You are like a detective or a hacker; Impossible for you to miss any detail of the minutes of his life, or everything around him.
Being very interested and outstanding is your way of loving him, however, you can often ignore his feelings and respect his individuality.
It’s up to you to learn …
Take the opportunity to create a relationship with your little one, from the respect of his being; Although he needs your guidance, limits and support, it is also healthy for his emotional growth to give him space to make his mistakes and learn for himself.
BEST FRIEND if …
You give your little one a lot of love and give in to their wishes in the hope of avoiding confrontation and managing to become their best friend, but sometimes, you lose sight of the need for firm limits.
It’s up to you to learn…
Today, many parents are permissive, however, “it is important to teach children rules and regulations to follow,” recommends Dr. Patricia Andrade. Because children with permissive parents eventually become overbearing, spoiled, messy, rebellious, impatient, and believe they have the right to get what they want, rather than what they need: self-restraint and patience, vital ingredients to be successful in life.
When you are tempted to succumb to their demands, think about the long-term consequences and start setting limits. Seek to explain why you reject his requests and be firm in disciplining him. Constantly, you will see very positive changes in your behavior and in yourself.