Many times in life we will meet authoritarian people and we will have to face them. So today, we will talk about what are the authoritarian peoplehow they behave and how we can deal with them.
Some of the most important characteristics of these people are the following:
- They think they are always right.. Despite the fact that, on many occasions, they have to go against the opinion of other people.
- They are usually aggressive people. They use a communication style that, many times, can involve the use of aggressive verbal and non-verbal language. In other words, they may use physical and/or verbal violence (insults, threats, etc.).
- They assume their leadership. In most cases without anyone explicitly making them leaders.
- They think their achievements are much more important than other people’s. Although there are more people who have achieved the same or higher achievements, they assume that theirs are much more important than those of others. This makes other people feel unappreciated.
- They demand a lot from other people. In other words, they demand more than they should, and sometimes they demand in an unhealthy way.
- They brag about their accomplishments or what other people do for them. They like to make other people see that there are people who care about them and who satisfy their needs.
- They tend to behave like this with almost all people. This behavior is usually common in different areas of their daily life.
- They think they are superior to other people and let them know it. It is usually one of the most frequent problems. They can believe that they are superior to other people and they communicate it to the people around them. Phrases like “I’m better than you”, “I do it better than you” or “Let me know what you don’t know” can be indicators of this.
- They make other people afraid of them. By instilling fear in other people, they ensure that their needs are met. For example, an overbearing boss might put his employees to work under the threat “if you don’t work late, I’ll fire you.”
- They disregard other people’s work or things and / or downplay it. As for these people the most important thing is what they do, they have a tendency to despise or downplay the activities that other people do.
The most important thing is knowing how to identify the behavior of the other person to realize that we are under the influence of an authoritarian person. Related to this, it is important don’t give in to their blackmail or fall into their traps.
The best way to cope to an authoritarian or aggressive person, as we discussed in other posts, is to use an assertive communication style. That is, to defend our rights/ideas/opinions without going over those of other people.
Some of the most important or most useful techniques in this case are the following:
negative assertiveness
It is used when the other person is criticizing us and we are aware that we have made a mistake. In this case, what the technique recommends is Accept the mistakes made without excusing yourself for it. In this way we will not give in to blackmail. We will only admit that we have made a mistake.
Broken record
If you find it hard to say no, this is one of the most appropriate techniques for your case. It consists of saying no over and over again in a calm manner and without giving in to blackmail. that the other party proposes. It is important that no matter how much the authoritarian person insists, we do not give in and continue to stand by our original opinion.
This is very important because if the other person verifies that after a lot of insisting we end up accepting their request, they will end up always insisting on us.
Agreement
It is used in case you need something from the other party. It consists of making a negotiation or agreement that is favorable for all the parties involved. For example, if your boss wants you to work more, you can make an agreement that you will work an extra hour each evening in exchange for one day of vacation per week.
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