The message about the emotions your child is receiving from you matters a lot so that he knows how to build (or not) a good relationship with himself. Discover how you are teaching your child to connect with his emotions.
The expert in emotional intelligence, Eli Martinez explains in her book Create a life for you, that parents have the following styles when it comes to educating their children’s emotions.
STYLES OF TEACHING YOUR CHILD TO CONNECT WITH THEIR EMOTIONS
What’s yours?
Derogatory. Children learn that it is not okay to feel, that emotions are invalid or inappropriate: don’t be a gaudy! You are an ugly tantrum!
Condemnatory. The same as the previous one, but the child also assimilates the idea that he is wrong, that there is something wrong with him to feel, so he begins to experience guilt and shame in front of his emotions, both positive and negative. And it hides them!
Non-interventionist. Parents unconditionally accept their children but place no limits on their destructive emotions; the child becomes ungovernable. For this reason, it is important that parents know how to contain their children’s emotions; she always seeks to help him recognize his emotions by talking to you about yours and expressing them in a positive way: if you are angry saying why, for example, without aggression or violence.
Competent. A climate of communication, assertiveness and empathy is generated, there is a clear emotional expression, containment, security and trust between parents and children. Emotional intimacy is created, therefore, the child learns that it is okay to express his emotions, always with equanimity and taking care of his own emotional well-being.
What is your style? Make sure that your child is learning a healthy expression of his emotions, as well as to recognize and accept them even if they are negative,
because they are part of his humanity.