5 Reasons You Enjoy Dating Older Men

5 Reasons You Enjoy Dating Older Men

The age difference in the couple generates prejudice in society, but many women enjoy dating older men. If you are one of them, these may be some of the reasons for your preference.

5 Reasons You Enjoy Dating Older Men
Elena Sanz

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: April 17, 2022

Regarding tastes there is nothing written. And yet, when we see a couple with a considerable age difference between them, we can’t help but wonder why they would have chosen each other. In the case of someone dating young women, the gain may be more obvious; but you, why do you enjoy dating older men?

If you have identified in yourself this tendency to choose partners who are far older than your age, you may have come to wonder if there is something wrong with you. Stigma and judgment by society (and even one’s family) can lead the members of these relationships to question their bond. However, there are different reasons why this preference appears.

Why do you enjoy dating older men?

It is usually considered that there is an imbalance in the couple when there is a difference of at least 10 years between them. This implies that both are at different vital moments and their experiences and backgrounds differ significantly.

However, this, which at first glance may seem like an impediment, is an incentive for many women. Let’s see what dating older men can bring.

1. The relationship with the father

It has often been speculated that women who are particularly attracted to older men have had a physically or emotionally absent father. Somehow, it is postulated that in this romantic bond they seek to supply those childhood deficiencies and access the archetype with which they did not count.

In other cases it is understood that the phenomenon is just the opposite. These women had a very close and close relationship with their parents that they have not been able to integrate.

The idealization of the father during childhood is common, but as she grows up, the girl has to accept her father as a fallible human being, just like everyone else. If this does not happen, she may look for a representation of that ideal model in the men with whom she is emotionally attached.

Although these postures may account for some of women’s relationships with older men, research does not endorse its strength as a general explanation.

Some explanations hover over the woman’s relationship with her father, although there is no solid evidence in this regard.

2. Maturity and experience

One of the main reasons why women are attracted to older men is because of their degree of maturity. A psychological state resulting from experience and deeper reflection and introspection than can be expected from a 30-year-old. Older men accumulate more wisdom, are more serene and less superficial.

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The passage of time and previous experiences have allowed them to learn to treat women and relate to them in a more respectful and less selfish way. It is likely that they have already gone through the stage of power struggles as a couple and are better able to communicate assertively.

This of course It is a generalization that does not apply in all cases. However, it is the representation of the mature male archetype that a woman hopes to find in an older partner.

3. Eroticism above genitality

It is conceivable that in the sexual sphere the younger sentimental partners have an advantage, however, this is not so decisive. It is true that in physical appearance, intensity and vigor young people can come out ahead. However, these tend to focus more on genitality, while mature men know about eroticism.

Once again, the experience has allowed them to explore, get to know themselves and overcome certain mental barriers. They are now able to better understand the woman, understand her needs and tastes, and are more willing to please her. A younger partner may be overly self-focused and lack certain sexual assertiveness skills.

4. Success, status and security

On the other hand, one of the main reasons why women may enjoy dating older men is because of the stability they bring. It’s about men with a defined identity, clear ideas and an established life.

They are no longer looking for their place, discovering themselves or working to build a vital project. That work is already done. Thus, they can provide greater economic and emotional stability, something that is very positive in order to forge a serious and lasting relationship.

On the other hand, it is common for these men be more determined, resolute and self-confident. And how has it been checkedthis is one of the most attractive features.

5. Chemistry, connection and compatibility

Lastly, we cannot forget that In this type of relationship, falling in love occurs. the same way as in any other. The chemistry, connection and compatibility they are fundamental elements that, when present, awaken the desire to bond with another person. And in this situation age is not a determining factor.

Because of their personality, their background and their needs, some women can connect better with older men. Or perhaps they find in them those traits that complement their own character and give them that balance that we all yearn for.

In general, older men are stabilized in their lives, with a more determined life project, which can be attractive.

Can you be successful dating older men?

There is a tendency to think that such an unequal relationship is doomed to failure, that the age difference is an insurmountable conditioning factor. However, there studies which show that commitment and marital satisfaction in both partners can be increased when the man is older.

In reality, the success of the bond depends largely on the age and stage of life in which both partners are, as well as their relational skills. It will be essential to find an equity in the relationship, a perceived balance between what is given and what is received, without the feeling that one is indebted.

Similarly, both must respect the stages that the other goes through and be willing to go along instead of depriving or blaming. In sum, although these couples face some additional challenges, respect, empathy, and commitment can lead to a successful bond.

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